Baby Shower FAQ
When should I
throw the shower?
Baby showers are usually held during
the 8th month of pregnancy. You dont want to
schedule it too early in case problems should
arise, and having it too late might result in
the baby making an early appearance and mom
being at the hospital during party time. It
is also acceptable, and encouraged in some practices,
to have the baby shower after the child is born.
invitations be sent out?
Invitations should be sent out 2-3 weeks
before the shower. Give guests time to plan
to be free that day and shop, but not so much
time that they forget about the party.
already had a shower during this pregnancy,
can we throw her another?
As long as you do not invite the same
guests, it is fine. Sometimes family or friends
don't get along or are from separate parts of
the new parents lives (dad's co-workers as opposed
to mom's family members) and two showers are
Is it acceptable
to throw a baby shower for a 2nd, 3rd or subsequent
While it was once only acceptable to
have a baby shower for the first pregnancy,
it is now widely accepted for each pregnancy
to be celebrated with a baby shower.
Is it okay to
throw a baby shower for someone who is adopting
Of course! Adopted babies are just as
special and deserve every bit as much celebrating!
Who should I
invite to the baby shower?
Close friends and family members, the
parents-to-be's friends, co-workers, godparents,
and others you feel the parents-to-be would
enjoy having at the shower. Try to refrain from
inviting people you have not had contact with
in a long time simply for more presents though,
its considered tacky.
Can I invite
men to the baby shower?
Yes! Men are now allowed in the delivery
room, why not let them in the baby shower as
we have the shower ?
The home of the hostess is the most
common place for the shower to be held, however
the home of any friend or relative who is willing,
or places like banquet halls, church gyms, restaurants,
picnic/park areas and club meeting halls are
becoming common as well.
If we have the
shower at a restaurant, who should pay for the
Typically the host(ess) is responsible
for all expenses when throwing a party. If you
have your heart set on having your shower at
a restaurant, but your budget doesn't allow
for pricey meals, try calling ahead to the restaurant
and asking if they can make a special menu of
lower priced foods for your guests. If you believe
your friends and family would be understanding
and willing to pay for their own food, you might
try including in the invitation that free drinks
and dessert will be provided, letting them politely
know meals are not free.
Two of my friends
are expecting, can we throw a double shower
for them both?
This can be tricky, unless all the guests
know both moms-to-be equally well. If some guests
know one of the mothers and not the other, the
issue will arrive as to whether they should
buy a present for each, or just the mom they
know. Also, some moms-to-be prefer to have this
special occasion be centered around themselves,
like their wedding and may not appreciate sharing
the limelight. However, if you know the two
wouldn't mind sharing the occasion and all guests
know both moms, it might be a fun idea.
Two or more
of my friends/family want to host my baby shower,
can I have more than one host?
If two or more people want to host the
shower, and can get along well enough to run
it together, co-hosting is a great idea.
The person (co-)hosting
my shower is ruining everything! Can I fire
When throwing a baby shower for a loved
one, you should try your best to get along well
for the mom-to-be's sake, however sometimes
this is impossible. If your host or co-host
is simply unbearable, try talking to them rationally
about what is upsetting you and perhaps work
out a solution. If worse comes to worse, you
may think about telling them thank you for what
they've done so far, but you will take it from
here. Feelings will probably be hurt and friendships
may be damaged, so think first before acting.
Some of my friends/family
members don't get along, and say they won't
come if the other is invited, what do I do?
I have the same problem in my family. What I
do is invite all sides and let them either come
or stay home. If this is two separate sides
of your family or people from different aspects
of your life, a person from each side could
throw a separate shower for mom-to-be (on different
days of course). Assuming the guest list would
not be the same, it may solve the problem of
Can I specify
NO KIDS at my shower?
Showers including children can be great
fun, if the kids are supervised well and allowed
to participate in shower activities. Howver,
this is a common dilemna when or a certain friend/family
member has particularly unruly children. Two
things I can suggest that might go over better
than "don't bring your children" would
be to either state in a polite way on the invitation
something like "hire a sitter and meet
us there at 1pm!", or if you know children
will be coming, hire a person to provide child
care in a different area during the shower.
Do we have to
play games at the baby shower?
No, but they sure make a shower fun!
One of the nicest showers I've attended was
a semi-formal affair with a nice dinner served.
Everyone mingled and chatted, but no games were
played. It really depends on the tastes of your
guests, the parents-to-be and yourself.
How long should
a shower last?
Around 2-3 hours is the average, but
it is really up to you and your guests how long
I was invited
to a baby shower I am not attending, do I have
to send a gift?
No one is ever obligated to buy a gift, however
it would be a polite gesture. If you haven't
had contact with the parents-to-be in awhile,
or barely know them, and you feel they are only
wanting more gifts, its your prerogative not
to purchase one.
I include my gift registry in the invitations?
A reasonably sized registry list is usually welcome,
as it helps guests know what to shop for. I would
not, however, include a 4 page long list with
mostly expensive items.
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